Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Blogger Idol Week 8
This weeks topic is "I Confess"
I must admit (pun intended) that I was dumbfounded by this week's topic. I had visions of all sorts of posters confessing sordid stories. That didn't interest me at all.
Next I turned my thoughts to confessions that I could make on the internet that would be interesting to read. Hmmm. Nup.
Sins? Nup
Past loves? Big Nup
Then I finally twigged. This is the chance to tell the story of my conversion. Hold tight. This is the short version!
I was raised in a Christian home, but as my dad always says "a mouse born in a biscuit tin is still a mouse." I understood that I needed a relationship with God that was of my own choice. At the age of 12 I was convicted of my sinful nature at a camp and decided to become a Christian. For the next 5 years I struggled with being a teenager and growing up and living a "Christian life". I didn't realise it but I was setting myself up for a fall. I had my life set up based on the practical outworking of Christianity and head knowledge. I did and said and read all the right stuff (at least publicly) but I wasn't converting that to my heart. Big changes were to come.
At 18 I left home to attend a tertiary institution. From here life started to get complicated. I discovered girls and they confused the heck out of me. I was still attending church but with my first car came freedom to do what I wanted. That was party. At first it was on the fringes. Then at 20 I left for the "big smoke" and got my taste of real partying. Here I started to drink also. Finally I came to a crux point. I realised I couldn't be a hypocritical Christian anymore. I was either going to be a 100% Christian or quit. So for 1 week I gave it my best shot. About Thursday I screwed up and that was it. I chucked it all in.
For the next 3 years life was pretty much a blur. There was a lot of sport, partying, binge drinking, girls and drugs. I don't remember a lot of the details but I do have clear memories of some specific events. Becoming demon possessed was a huge thing. I remember that very clearly. I even deliberately pursued the feeling that gave me.
Finally God brought me to my knees with a series of accidents that culminated in my losing my job through inability to attend work because of illness. At this point my loving parents rescued me. My Dad came and collected me, drove me round while I sold almost everything I owned in an attempt to pay all my debts. I went home and spent a good deal of time talking to my mentor Ross. He never ever judged me and for that I was so very thankful. I confessed my sins and accepted Christ into my life as the sacrificial gift from God for me on 20th May 1993. I was also released from the control of the 5 demons that plagued me.
Life wasn't easy from then on. However I knew that I no longer had to be a 100% Christian. Christ did that for me. My responsibility was to live for him and confess my mistakes and errors, ask for forgiveness and move on.
Tomorrow night I go to see the Passion. I am planning on doing a lot of crying and will take a box of tissues.
I'll talk to you afterwards.
